The best version of me

She couldn’t wait to get home that day and drop her bag, take off her 6″ shoe, remove the wig off her head sit on her bed,hug her pillow and begin to wet it.with tears that didn’t have to be forced, freely through her eye lashes eroding the well made foundation through to her lipstick Wetting the collar  of her dress and the pillow.

You would call her a Broken Black Woman, and today was one of her bad hair day, after an hour of sobbing she stood right in front of her mirror.. She saw a different person from the one she saw leaving the house. And definitely different from the lady madam Boss Dr.Ndungu who she has to always potray.. she is always tasked with showing her best version of herself, her services,her everything and everyone around her assumes it has to be that way.. The lady standing behind the mirror was broken shattered, she had her strengths and flaws but no one cared to see the flaws and perhaps this is the greatest challenge and risk we would ever take to be seen as who we are and show the day who we truly are.

That’s the world we live in.. vulnerability is highly discouraged , there’s no space for it . those conversations of imaging and displaying strength fill the air like a strench.”she’s an iron lady” you hear as she passes by.. Cut that crap! It’s the reason for fake.

Till the world is full of plastic people trying to chase one model person drawn to them by the world.it denys the world alot of diversity. Everyone has a model 21st century woman

How she should dress

Eat with fork knife and spoon all together

Dance in a particular way,behave in this way

, people living double standards of themselves. like you will meet the same person on two different occasions and not even think they’re related.All are obsessed with the best version of me to the world… but to myself I can take anything.people smiling on the outside but tearing apart from the inside.

The word strong has been misused, strong is not born strong .it is made it’s a journey it’s progressive, it was once fragile, strong is built..by vulnerable and that is not encouraged we fear being on the receiving end

There’s no harm in breaking down so bulldozers have things to do.. That’s The reason why high performance cars need a garage.it’s okey to handsoff and admit it Im No guru.. but I give things my best.its not weak it’s the rule of life.. so get out of your best version cocoon and start living! Embrace moments for what they bring ,, some will crown you some will dethrone you and that is life.

When the curtains are drawn, no social media to post and get 400likes and 1000 followers on IG ,the lights go off ,there’s no audience to please, when you are the both the character and the audience can you face yourself or is the role too big. I don’t in any case mean you go around washing dirty linen in public  No! you will disgust us just be real..Im a believer in God of the Bible who says  my power is perfected In your weakness , when you can’t ,lift your hands and surrender there’s a hand waiting to put you back together again.

Be at your best .but don’t be obsessed with showing your best version be real and it is easy to sustain.Finally, give God a chance to be the Master he is.